With 2006 now gone, and 2007 as a “fresh start” I’m gonna share something I’ve thought of all day today, feel free to post a comment or share your opinion about it, here goes. Very personal and I don’t know why I’m sharing it with all of you, but what the heck.
As humans, why do we have so much trouble sharing our feelings? Why can we not tell our own parents how we’re feeling at the moment but we can pay $100’s per hour to just talk to a psychologist/psychiatrist? I thought about going to therapy last year because I’m tearing myself apart inside and it’s not manifesting on the outside as it should, on the outside I’m fine, and nothing is wrong. On the inside, I’ve got a fiery passion, a hatrid, a need to just talk, to someone, anyone, but no, I’ve had opportunity - mom’s given me times to open up to her, and I haven’t I’ve shrugged it off.
My mom got upset with me when I shared all of my poetry I’ve written with my friends, some close, some not-so-close. My poetry is something I take very seriously, and she flipped a gasket that I did not want to show her them. Well after that talk I had a slight change of heart, and today printed them all out to show to her, but now I’ve just left them sitting underneath my desk because once again I don’t want to show her.
I think it’s because I’m afraid of her opinion/critism. I can take what I get from my friends, I value their opinion, not that I don’t hers but I think I’d take it more to heart.
Love. I hate the word, I hate the feeling, because I’ve only had one relationship and it wasn’t ended because it wasn’t doing good, we were great together, but she had to move away because her dad worked for the army and relocation was imminent, I’ve moved on from her. I think I’ve found love again, yet with two women, each different in their personalities and actions and both have gotten my attention. I’ve never felt this way about anybody, they both know who they are, one is accepting of the fact, and the other just seems to shrug me off and Carly said “seems like she’s pushing the nice guy away…”.
I’m ready to open up to somebody, if I found that one, I’d share everything, honesty is the best policy, I don’t share some things with my closest friends, or even my “brothers” Elijah and Cartman, it’s just not somethings I want to talk about, but should something arise with somebody I’d be completely honest, and would never not talk about something unless I had a strong compelling feeling it’d be of no benefit to either of us.
Verbal skills. I’m a great public speaker, and I can influence somebody to do/buy something fine, but put me in a 1-on-1 with anybody, male or female, I can’t carry squat, I can’t keep a running conversation. This is the basis of communication between two people on any level of a relationship platonic or elsewise.
There’s more, or at least there was, but I forgot it, so take what I’ve written and analyze me from there if you wish.
Enjoy 2007, hope it’s a great year for all of you!
Pretty deep entry. I think it has a lot to do with being able to express yourself to a stranger as oppose to someone you know because of the fear of being judged.
*Wonders if I fall under ‘closest’ friends designation*
I disagree that you can’t carry out a conversation, you seem to feed off well with others (except for the occasional outburst or cell phone ‘accident’ (and no, I’m not bitter
))
However, you’re right with the whole relocation thing. I recently had a good girl friend (NOT a girlfriend in any means, just a long time good female friend w/ potential) move away, and it sucks.
Happy 2007!
Thanks Jorge.
Haha, last night was fun, but this was on my mind the whole time.
Aw, wow. Well, I guess I can somewhat relate. I think you are not talking to people about things because it is such a sensitive subject because you feel so strongly about the person or people…plural? Anyway, love makes you feel many emotions at once, not just one, and for me, I remember in a similar situation, I was afraid to talk about it because a rush of emotions would occur. I’d laugh, I’d cry and basically look insane.
If you ever want to talk, I am here.
Hey, read your blog bout communication etc. Just rember you have my cell # , call day or nite. Love, LRA Sr.
I think the world is ready for another Larry Anderson™ forum. I’m thinking Macplace 3
I’m so glad I got away from that, I loved it but I needed to stop.
dude ur so emo, pls don’t slit ur wrists
Author Comment: “omg dude ur so lik dis typing skillz lax intelligente nessness?”
I know it sounds hokey but I married my best friend and we can be completely honest at all times. Most times it scares me how honest I have been with her over the years but that kind of therapy is priceless. In the future I’d suggest to look for that person who will listen, not judge and accept you as you are without trying to make you over. Then listen quietly and don’t say a word while they reply. Don’t comment or argue. Just close your mouth and listen. For me, having that sounding board to blow steam off of or rant to keeps me sane after many a long day.
omg yah dude ur brain lax intelligent nessness pls get a websyte dat actly dscribez u ‘n aint a ly
haha, just reeks of insecurity.